“THAT’S THE WAY IT IS”
Life experiences have taught me that nothing slows, stops, or reverses my wholesome progress more than allowing my emotions to control me and that at no time are emotions useful for serious business. As a boy I realized everything about me has its place but the key is to know when and when not is that time or place. Today, it is clear that birth Emotions are about my Lower (Animalistic) Self mentality—acquired Emotions, exhibited as Excitement–and Passions, my Higher (Humanity) Self mentality, experienced as “Aliveness”. Researching the Black Mind, dating back to 200,000 years ago when humans entered Earth, convinced me that the super-brilliance of Ancient Africans is historically verifiable. But an awareness of the “Brain Switch” from Africans’ Sound Critically Thinking Minds to the conversion into Emotionalism as a result of European African American enslavers’ sadistic deeds and post-slavery ongoing Euro-American terrorism to the present—–has hurt me to my core. Hence, my Passion drives me to do all I can to let afflicted and naïve Black People know of alternative ways to live—ways leading to thriving and happiness. To this end I have been mentoring Black youth since the mid-1970s wherever I could find them throughout southern California—send out short passages from Ancient African Sages online across country—write books and articles—and given weekly talks to Black Community School adults. To those who respond to my emails I send a message like: When people do what they do that is considered harmful, you have a choice as to how to handle it. One response is to say: “That’s sad.” A second is to feel angry. A third is to say: “That’s the way it is!” Pause for a moment to repeat each of these three one at a time. During that pause notice how you feel and what that feeling tends to incline you to do. To say: “That’s sad” is to give you the sense of defeat and nothing you can do because the other person has all the power. To feel angry disturbs your thinking ability and as they say in basketball: “A mad player is a bad player.” To say: “That’s the way it is!” is to leave you on neutral ground with the tendency to think: “There is some way for me to get around this and I simply have to figure out how. This is empowering in the way that self-confidence comes from multiple small successes rather than saying to yourself a 1000 times: “I’m great and can do anything.”
One Mentee responded: “I disagreed with that thought because I saw that as leaving it right there and there was nothing else you can do about it and it can’t be changed”. Another said: “I saw it as a negative ‘that’s the way it is!’ and that there was nothing else I could do about it because it was final and there was no way change it—it was set and so you have to work it that way and you would have to walk away from it and leave it alone because I could not affect a change.” I explained that their interpretations are Emotional reactions whose underlying cause stems from the Enslaved “Make Do” mindset—a mindset culturally transmitted to many of today’s Enslaved descendants. A discussion led both to see the “that’s the way it is” as a “Thing!”–like a boulder thrown in the way—a mindset emotionally Free to view the boulder as a challenge to get around and to outsmart opposing forces that threw it. From having your energy properly focused and by staying in control, Creativity then pops up in order to construct something better than what the bolder destroyed.
This perspective caused the first Mentee to say: “Now I see how I can make a change by using rational and creative processes—to combine/recombine and arrange/rearrange what I have to work with so as to out-maneuver the forces which caused the problem. This requires studying all the angles. Another emailed me the next day and said: “Also I am really embracing “That’s the way it is”. I used that perspective today and found myself to be more productive and spent less time complaining about what I didn’t feel like doing. Whenever I read that line above, I feel relief :)” The point: shed dislikes/likes and thereby clearly see how putting/handling things in order of the Necessary and then the Important: (1) corrects many of the lesser problems associated with them; (2) empowers one to be ready for new and bigger problems; (3) has nothing to do with what you like/desire/dislike; avoids burning excessive energy from being “up/down”; (4) prevents the bad foresight and forethought from doing the desired first; and (5) makes you “Alive.” jabaileymd.com