FREE WILL VOLITION
At age six, following the removal of my tonsils, Mamma Clara, Aunt Julia, and Aunt Cherry—the most loving of people–provided me with all the post-surgical care I needed, as in bringing me medicines and liquid foods on schedule. But they did so without saying a word to me—as if they were robots. My reaction was that: “being sick is no fun” and at that point I decided not to get sick again because it had no benefits. And I never lost a day from any work obligation thereafter! That was a volitional Self-Declaration. When I left home and my wonderful all-Black community to attend the University of Michigan, I immediately encountered a shocking situation of overwhelming “Indifference” towards me. This realization of nobody caring about me led me to make an immediate Self-Declaration that: “absolutely nothing would stop me from becoming a physician”. A pertinent example occurred when four psychologists at the University gave me a test to determine for what career I would be best suited. The result was that, with respect to medicine, I scored 149 out of 150—next to the bottom. Upon sitting at a table and telling me the results, all four psychologists agreed it would be best for me to become a truck driver and give up the idea of becoming a physician. I laughed at them and said: “you all are fools and do not knowing what you are talking about. You can’t test me on what I am qualified to do—you do not know my Heart–you have no concept of my motivation to succeed—you cannot define who I am or what I should do.” They were stunned as I got up and walked out. I later asked several of my medical school classmates who went to all White schools about how they were counseled. They each gave a story similar to mine.
During the summer between my first and second year of medical school education I was an extern at a community hospital. One evening a healthy appearing lady came to the hospital and when I started taking the chief complaint of her medical history, she said: “I am going to die at mid-night! Please let my family know.” That sufficiently shocked me to the point that I did an extra careful examination and found nothing wrong. This was followed by an extra thorough series of tests and all of those tests were reported as normal. The rest of the evening I kept checking on her ever so often and she seemed okay. Finally, when I went in at mid-night to see how she was doing, she was dead! A follow-up autopsy gave no indication for the cause of death—no toxic drugs, no heart attack, no nothing. This is the clearest example of Volitional Thinking I ever saw.
These are three vignettes (a brief personal story) of Volitional Thinking–meaning that no matter what situation came up with the intention of defeating my efforts to succeed or to get me off track to be involved with something “exciting,” nothing would ever have the power to over-ride my Self-Declaration. These three point out the life-shaping significance of the choice between Emotions and Reason–the choice that would determine the System of Values molding my Standards, Guides, Measures, and Filters through life. But the underlying question is what was the Background leading me to this point? Nevertheless, the supreme importance of making the Volitional choice of leaving behind ones Instinct Emotions as the controller of ones life is that to choose to be an Emotional Thinker will start out easy and then life will get harder and harder to deal with. Choosing to be a Rational Thinker is the way to start out working hard in order to play and be happy in senior years. The Rational Volitional “Seed” or supreme life-shaping decision is to step out of the Cycle of Instincts into being completely in charge and control of ones Selfhood, what one does, and each situation for a lifetime. Its “Roots” are the choice to Think. Both were choices I made. What these decisions did for me was to create a Spiritual Self Coin Background wall in my mind containing my standards, filters, measures, and guides for the path that would take me to my destination. Implied in Keeping my Word to Myself is the non-negotiable rule that I would do whatever it took to achieve my goal while staying within the confines of the Spiritual Elements. That Background was/is what generated the mental process—filled with the Spiritual Energy—to both put me on my path and provide the Spiritual Energy Package of Dedication, Commitment, Determination, Loyalty, Persistence, and Perseverance to stay on the path until the end. That is Self-Trust!!! jabaileymd.com