CRITICALLY THINKING CONDITIONAL LOVE
Being socialized into an atmosphere of Conditional Love (CL) is to generate in the individual the sense of “I’m not good enough”–a mindset of personal incompleteness, unworthiness, and being unfit to deal with the problems of life–a mindset characterized by unrealistic Fear. So, how does this come about? European dictionaries say, first “Definition” is defined as ‘to specify’; to limit; ‘bring to an end’; ‘set bounds to.’ It necessarily includes–in order to give the exact meaning of a word or phrase or to delimit a problem or an undertaking–all that belongs to the object defined and excludes all that does not. Second, a definition can have varying aspects of a “Description” (including only some general features of the defined object); an Explanation (throwing light upon some point of special difficulty–as determined by who?); an Exposition (stating somewhat fully what is compactly given or only implied in the text); and/or an Interpretation (giving the doubtful or hidden meaning of the perplexing or confusing). After comparing all these aspects, critical thinking concludes European dictionaries do not abide by their own etymological (a C14 word meaning ‘finding the underlying or true) definition of “Definition.” Furthermore, an example of Europeans defining what they are incapable of knowing is “love”–defined as the intense, absorbing EMOTION a person feels for someone or something–e.g. affection, attachment, friendship, admire–of a ‘desire’ or an ‘it is pleasing’ nature. They define “Feel” in the sense of ‘touching and handling’; perceive; experience as a sensation; a personal conviction; a state of intense receptivity or expressivity. In these definitions, both Emotions and Feelings are relative and inconsistent–enabling them to be used in any pleasing or disharmonious way, whenever, and for how long one sees fit. Hence, European’s ‘love’ definition is Conditional–defined as depending on something else, not absolute; limited; ‘set bounds to’. European Instrumentalism Thinkers crystallized the parameters of CL by saying that since ‘love’ is an emotion–it is something that can be made, divided, and bounded. Because their sole purpose was to control the minds of the unsuspecting, they said CL produces an all-or-none situation + a “for or against” mindset–a mindset characterized by CL’s nature, which is to convey an aura of fear.
Apart from Fear being part of human’s First Law of Nature (Survival), Europeans are generally a “Second Nature” Fear-based people–a feature of ones False Self. At the moment one shifts to ones False Self, one will accept boundaries on Spiritual Boundlessness or split the Spiritually inseparable or make Conditional what is not, as Instrumentalism Thinkers do in converting these virtual products into artifacts (put together by assembling). Minds which buy into such artifacts are immediately controlled by ignorant or evil forces–a state whereby victims give up the mental tow-rope called the “5Ss”–safety, security, sureness, strength, and stability. Thus, CL has been/is being used as a manipulative tool–e.g. “if you love me then do…”; “I won’t love you if you do…”. As a tool, CL inspires selective hate (as with jealousy), anger, and fear as well as people’s addictions to love passions. This provides an explanation for the Emotional Variation forms of “love/hate” relationships and the “love/displaced hate.” With the latter, one loves the other without reservation but because of earlier life hostilities brought about by a third party, one desires to use “reenactments” to take out ones hostilities–not on the third party who caused it–but on the loved person within reach. Layering of old and new third party hostilities compound reenactments.
For example, a boy may have been teased by females and then made a Self-Declaration to “get even” with all females. Later, he marries a woman he loves and yet imparts on her the “get even” revenge manifestations, even though she is not the cause of his intended object (see Bailey, Post Traumatic Distress Syndrome in Black People for details). Otherwise, CL has been/is being used repetitiously as a manipulative tool in every aspect of people’s lives. Such is easily seen by assessing the CL “Fear Fashioned” approaches, methods, techniques, and manners used by all “authorities,” advertizers, ignorant people, and evil groups for purposes of being in control of everybody unlike them and in every way. Or, it may be done to tear down people, or make people dislike themselves, or to keep people from doing things designed for their own benefits. jabaileymd.com